they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
