I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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