Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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