You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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