Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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