I cockslap morals
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
