I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
