The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
