She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
