where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
