They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How's work?
Spinning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
whose parrot is this?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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