Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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