Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
