Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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