It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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