She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
