His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I love you.
Bad choice
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
