3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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