i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just got carded by a ten year old.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
