it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
