We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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