I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
