I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
