do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize