It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
