So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
