my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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