Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
