i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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