First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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