he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
