Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
