Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
