I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
