I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
