I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just cut my nipple shaving
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
