you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
