I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
