The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
