Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
