What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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