I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
