I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
