Duck Duck Cougar?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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