My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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