I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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