Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
