Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize