Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
