singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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