Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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