Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
