yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
