He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
