A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
