I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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