I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
