Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
