watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
