Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
