I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
