Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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